“You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” is one of those quotes so familiar one rolls their eyes. How obvious right? But if it’s so easy, why aren’t we living it?

In today’s world everyone seems to quickly default to vinegar. The benefit of the doubt is hard to come by.

Maybe it’s because we now live through screens. We miss the context, the facial cues, the changes in voice inflection in this medium. Maybe any increased self-centeredness derives from the nature of the medium. With so little personal interaction, we could just be out of practice.

It could be leadership’s example. Like it or not, our politicians are our country’s leaders, and they set an example for the rest of us. When the President publicly belittles others and rejects any and all criticism, people see that and, whether consciously or subconsciously, they emulate it. Many Representatives and state leaders display similar behavior.

Perhaps stress and anxiety from economic uncertainty drives our reactivity. With so much unknown, and the stakes seemingly so high, it’s faster and easier to resort to harshness instead of kindness. We retreat into our tribal groups, fermenting hostility toward the other. Any kindness is perceived as weakness in an increasingly competitive world.

So how can we choose kindness in a world set up for vinegar? By doing just that, choosing. Each and every one of us holds the immutable power to choose. And our choices, collectively, can transform society.

Maybe the simplest way for us to improve our global mood is to focus on honey. It can be a memorable mantra we recite to ourselves. Honey, honey, honey. When we ask our boss to leave early, we think honey. When someone cuts us off in traffic, we think honey. Raising our children, we can embody honey. Even when advocating our politics, we speak with honey.

What if honey makes the world go round?